One mum breezes through her pregnancy with barely any morning sickness. She feels relatively energetic, continues her daily routine and looks forward to meeting her baby.
Another spends weeks feeling nauseous, struggles to get out of bed and finds even simple daily tasks exhausting.
Both are pregnant. Both may be doing everything they can to look after themselves. So why can their experiences be so different?
It is a question many expecting mums have probably asked, especially when comparing their own pregnancy with a friend’s or even with their previous pregnancy.
Does it come down to the mother’s health? Is it about hormones? Or are some women simply more fortunate than others?
The answer is that pregnancy is influenced by a combination of the mother’s health, hormones, genetics, the pregnancy itself and individual circumstances. And an important point to remember is that a difficult pregnancy does not automatically mean a mother is unhealthy.
1. Does the mother’s health before pregnancy matter?
Yes. A woman’s health before conception can influence her pregnancy and the risk of certain complications.
Pre-existing conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid disorders and some autoimmune conditions may affect how a pregnancy progresses. Nutritional deficiencies, particularly iron deficiency, can also contribute to symptoms such as fatigue and breathlessness.
Weight, metabolic health, existing medications and general wellbeing may play a role, too.
However, this does not mean that a healthy woman will necessarily have an easy pregnancy.
A woman who exercises regularly, eats well and has no known medical conditions can still experience severe nausea, exhaustion or significant pelvic pain. Meanwhile, a woman managing a chronic health condition may have a relatively comfortable pregnancy with appropriate medical care.
In other words, being healthy can support a pregnancy, but it cannot guarantee a symptom-free experience.
2. Hormones can make a bigger difference than we realise
Pregnancy brings significant hormonal changes as the body supports the developing baby.
These changes are a major reason why women can feel so different during pregnancy.
Take morning sickness, for example. Despite its name, nausea and vomiting can happen at any time of the day, and some women experience symptoms that go far beyond occasional queasiness.
Hormones such as human chorionic gonadotrophin (hCG) and growth differentiation factor 15 (GDF15) are involved in pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting. Research suggests that both hormone exposure and a woman’s individual sensitivity to these signals help explain why symptoms vary.
Fatigue can also have several causes, including hormonal changes, disrupted sleep, increased physical demands and anaemia.
Mood changes may reflect a combination of hormonal shifts, sleep quality, stress and personal circumstances.
This explains why two women at the same stage of pregnancy can feel completely different, even when both are otherwise healthy.
It is not necessarily a question of one woman’s body being stronger than the other’s. Their bodies may simply respond differently to pregnancy.
3. Genetics and family history may play a role
Have you ever heard a mum say that her mother or sister also suffered badly from morning sickness?
There may be a reason for that.
Research has identified genetic factors associated with pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting, including differences involving GDF15, a hormone produced largely by the developing baby and placenta.
A woman’s sensitivity to this hormone may influence how severely she experiences nausea and vomiting.
Family history can therefore provide useful clues, particularly for severe morning sickness. However, it cannot predict exactly how every pregnancy will unfold.
This is another reminder that not every pregnancy symptom is something a mother can control through diet, exercise or willpower.
4. Every pregnancy can be different, even for the same mum
Some women find their second pregnancy easier than their first. Others experience the opposite.
A mother who barely experienced morning sickness with her first baby may struggle with nausea during her second pregnancy. Another may find that her symptoms are milder the next time around.
Several factors may contribute to these differences.
The number of babies: Twin and triplet pregnancies can involve higher pregnancy hormone levels and increased risks of certain complications.
Maternal age: Age can influence the likelihood of some pregnancy complications, although it does not reliably determine how severe everyday symptoms will be.
Previous pregnancy experiences: A history of severe morning sickness may increase the likelihood of experiencing it again.
Pregnancy-related conditions: Conditions such as gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia can make pregnancy more medically demanding.
The key point is that no two pregnancies are guaranteed to follow the same pattern. Previous experience can offer clues, but it is not a promise of what comes next.
5. Stress, sleep and emotional wellbeing matter, too
Pregnancy is physically demanding, but the emotional and practical side of life matters as well.
Consider an expecting mum who is working full-time, caring for an older child, managing household responsibilities and trying to get enough rest.
Even if her pregnancy is medically uncomplicated, the demands of everyday life may leave her feeling overwhelmed.
Poor sleep can worsen fatigue. Anxiety and ongoing stress can affect appetite, rest and overall wellbeing. A lack of practical support may also make it harder to cope with discomfort.
This does not mean that stress is the cause of every difficult pregnancy, or that a mum can make her symptoms disappear simply by relaxing.
Rather, it highlights why emotional wellbeing and practical support deserve attention alongside physical health.
A partner who shares household responsibilities, family members who offer help and a healthcare team that listens to concerns can all make the experience more manageable.
Sometimes, what an expecting mum needs is not another reminder to eat better or rest more. She may simply need someone to ask, “How are you really feeling, and what can I do to help?”
6. Does having fewer pregnancy symptoms mean the baby is healthier?
Not necessarily.
This is an important distinction, especially for first-time mums who may worry when they do not experience the symptoms they have been told to expect.
Some women have significant nausea throughout the first trimester. Others experience very little. Both can have healthy pregnancies.
Similarly, the presence or absence of common symptoms cannot reliably tell us whether a baby is developing normally.
Some pregnancy complications may initially cause few or no noticeable symptoms. This is why antenatal appointments, recommended screenings and ultrasound scans are important, even when a mother feels well.
At the same time, severe symptoms should not simply be dismissed as a normal part of pregnancy.
Persistent vomiting that prevents a mother from keeping fluids down, significant pain or bleeding warrants medical assessment. Severe headaches, visual disturbances or other concerning symptoms should also be assessed promptly.
Expecting mums should contact their healthcare provider if they are worried about their symptoms, rather than relying on comparisons with other pregnancies.
7. What can expecting mums do to support a healthier pregnancy?
Although some aspects of pregnancy are beyond a mother’s control, there are practical ways to support her health and wellbeing.
Attend antenatal appointments. These visits help healthcare professionals monitor the mother’s health, the baby’s development and potential complications.
Eat well and take recommended supplements. A balanced diet and appropriate pregnancy supplements can help meet nutritional needs. Ask your healthcare provider about individual requirements.
Prioritise rest where possible. Pregnancy can be exhausting, particularly when a mum is also working or caring for other children. Accepting help with daily tasks is not a weakness.
Talk about symptoms early. Severe nausea, persistent fatigue, pain and emotional distress should not simply be endured. Many pregnancy symptoms can be managed with appropriate advice or treatment.
Look after emotional wellbeing. Make space for rest, seek support from trusted people and speak to a healthcare professional if anxiety or low mood becomes difficult to manage.
Most importantly, avoid measuring your pregnancy against someone else’s. What works for another mum may not work for you, and your needs may change as your pregnancy progresses.
A final thought for expecting mums
Pregnancy can be beautiful, challenging, exhausting and surprising, sometimes all within the same week.
Some women experience very few symptoms. Others struggle physically from the early weeks until delivery. Many fall somewhere in between.
These differences do not automatically reflect how healthy a mother is, how well she has prepared for pregnancy or how much effort she is putting into caring for her baby.
There are factors we can influence, such as seeking medical care, addressing nutritional deficiencies and getting appropriate support. There are also factors we cannot control, including genetics and how our bodies respond to pregnancy.
So, if you are having a difficult pregnancy, please do not assume that you are doing something wrong. And if your pregnancy feels relatively easy, there is no need to feel guilty about that either.
Every pregnancy deserves proper care, and every expecting mum deserves support without judgement.
💜 At KidYouNot, we believe parenting is easier when we navigate together. Because sometimes, understanding that our experiences can be different is the first step towards being kinder to ourselves and to one another.
Hello! I am Mummy Kim!
A beauty-loving mum who believes that looking good and feeling good go hand in hand. My parenting mantra is raising happy, confident kids with strong self-esteem! Between facial masks and storybooks, I’m all about nurturing both inner and outer beauty, for myself and my little ones.
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