When Alex Honnold climbed Taipei 101, the whole world seemed to stop and stare.
We watched with our hearts in our throats. We held our breath as he moved higher and higher, relying only on his hands, feet, and focus. It was thrilling. Terrifying. Extraordinary.
And when the adrenaline faded, a quieter question began to surface:
How does someone become a person like this?
Not just physically strong. Not just technically skilled. But emotionally steady enough to face danger with calm and clarity.
For me, that question inevitably leads to childhood.
I was curious how he was being brought up.
And then I found a bunch of interviews with his mother which really inspired me.
When curiosity turns to climbing
Alex didn’t wake up one day and decide to climb skyscrapers.
He started young. Very young.
In interviews, Alex has shared that he was drawn to climbing almost instinctively as a child. He liked getting up high. He liked moving his body against gravity. It felt natural to him.
For his mother, Dierdre Wolownick, this was… a headache.
She has spoken honestly about how difficult it was to raise a child who loved to climb everything, walls, roofs, trees, anything within reach. She worried. She scolded. She tried to stop him.
But Alex kept climbing.
Not because she encouraged it.
But because it was who he was.
She once shared that she realised something important: she could either fight against her son’s nature every day, or she could try to understand it.
That choice changed their relationship.
Not permission. Adaptation.
It’s easy to say, “She allowed him to do dangerous things.”
But the reality was far more complicated.
She did not groom him to be extreme. She did not push him to take risks.
She adapted to a child who could not be contained in the usual ways.
Alex has also spoken about being on the autism spectrum (formerly Asperger’s). He processes fear, focus, and emotion differently. Loud, chaotic environments were not his world. Quiet concentration was.
Instead of forcing him into a mould, his mother adjusted her parenting to who he already was.
She let him take responsibility. She let him feel consequences. She trusted his judgement more than most parents would dare to.
That is not reckless parenting.
That is mindful parenting.
When his mother started climbing too
There is a part of their story that deeply moved me as a parent.
In her late 50s and into her 60s, Alex’s mother took up climbing herself.
Not to prove anything. Not to show off.
But to understand her son’s inner world.
She climbed with him in Yosemite. She celebrated birthdays on rock faces. She learned the language of his life.
This was not a woman who “let go”.
This was a woman who leaned in.
She chose connection over control.
Fear, but not the way we think
Many people assume Alex has no fear.
He has said the opposite.
He feels fear. He just learned how to listen to it.
Fear tells him when to slow down. Fear tells him when to train more. Fear tells him when something is not ready.
That relationship with fear did not come from being shielded.
It came from making small decisions as a child and seeing what happened.
A child who is always stopped learns: “I am not capable.”
A child who is always rescued learns: “I cannot handle this.”
A child who is trusted learns: “I can figure it out.”
What this teaches us about mindful parenting
Mindful parenting is not about letting children do whatever they want.
It is about knowing your child deeply.
It is about asking:
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What does my child need to grow?
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What fears are mine, and what fears are theirs?
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When do I step in, and when do I step back?
Alex’s mother did not create a climber.
She created a child who trusted himself.
That is the deeper lesson.
Why this is hard in Singapore
In Singapore, we are raised to value safety, order, and achievement.
These are not bad things.
But they make freedom harder.
We worry about:
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Injury
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Liability
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School performance
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Falling behind
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Being judged
So we:
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Hover at playgrounds
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Rush in when children struggle
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Fill weekends with classes
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Avoid mess, risk, and boredom
Not because we are bad parents.
But because we are anxious ones.
And when a parent chooses a different path, more freedom, more trust, society watches closely.
Why didn’t you stop him? Why didn’t you control her? Why aren’t you stricter?
Mindful parenting in Singapore often means parenting against the current.
And yet… something is changing
Despite this, I see a quiet shift.
More young parents are asking:
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How do I raise a confident child, not just a compliant one?
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How do I support emotional health, not just grades?
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How do I give freedom without being careless?
Forest schools. Nature playgroups. Unstructured afternoons. Gentle discipline.
These are small signs.
But they matter.
They tell me that a new generation of parents is beginning to trust childhood again.
Alex as a father now
Alex Honnold is now a father himself.
And his reflections feel familiar.
He has said that becoming a parent made him more aware of consequences, more thoughtful about risk, and more focused on modelling calm rather than fear.
He does not want to raise a reckless child.
He wants to raise a child who is aware and self-regulated.
Just as his mother did for him.
What I take from this story
Not that I should let my child climb buildings.
But that I should:
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Know my child deeply
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Respect who they are
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Allow safe struggle
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Let them build judgement
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Stay close without taking over
It tells me that good parenting is not about producing impressive outcomes.
It is about producing strong inner foundations.
A final reflection
Alex Honnold doesn’t climb because he has no fear.
He climbs because he learned early:
“I can manage myself.”
And maybe that is the real parenting question.
Not: “What will my child become?”
But: “Will my child trust themselves?”
In a society that loves control, raising a child who feels capable is a quiet rebellion.
And maybe… a necessary one.
Hello! I am Daddy Sean
I am one of the editors of KidYouNot Parenting blogs! I have two adorable sons. I’m a nature lover who values wellbeing and mindful parenting. I’m all about creating balance, connection, and joy in family life.
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